Asking your prospect all the correct questions is wasted if you don’t really hear what they are saying, whether expressed directly in words or more subtly in tones or partial hints. Do you hear everything that is being said? Do you understand it completely?

Being a good listener requires more than just keeping quiet while the other person is talking. Listening well is a difficult skill, but it can be mastered. Here are some tips on how to become a more effective listener.

• Listen proactively. There is more to listening than just passively hearing the words someone is speaking. One way you make sure you focus on what the person is saying is to “jump ahead” - i.e., anticipate what the person is going to say next or the conclusion he or she is about to make. This keeps you mentally involved and thinking. (Your prospect has told you that his company has lost several salespeople over the year. He has talked about the cost of recruiting new people and the time it takes to get them up to speed and producing. How might you anticipate the following sentence will end? “I guess the greatest negative impact on the bottom line has been ________.”)
• Become personally absorbed in what is being said. You can’t listen effectively if you are only “going through the motions.” Even less than absorbing information can be interesting. Every subject has some interesting angle, some impact on you or something you can learn. In order to uncover those elements, you must first abandon your prejudiced or preconceived ideas. If you enter into a conversation with the notion that the other person has nothing of interest or importance to say, you will miss what is important. Try to relate to the unrelated. Ask yourself how what the person is saying relates to other situations or experiences.
• Make a concentrated effort to listen. Don’t get distracted. Don’t let trivial things like the speakers appearance or random noises divert your attention from what they are saying. Listen to the speakers whole sentence. Listen not only for content, but context. Anytime you catch yourself being distracted by something that draws your attention away from the speaker’s words, make a conscious effort to focus back on the words.
• Focus on what the speaker is trying to say. Only 10% of what most speakers say is crucial. The rest is for illustration, explanation or transition. Focus in on the basic message. Try to pinpoint the main ideas the person is expressing. Ask yourself what the speaker is trying to say. If you’re not sure, ask, “Bill, I believe what I heard is…Am I on track?”
• Listen with your “gut.” The speakers tone and body language will impart meaning. These subtle clues are more quickly picked up by the unconscious mind and leave us with a particular feeling about the speaker. The next time you are left with a feeling about someone after a conversation - they are sincere, they are hiding something, they can’t be trusted, etc., - it is just a sign that your unconscious mind has put two and two together and come up with an evaluation.
• Understand what is being said. Keep asking yourself if you understand what is being said. If you don’t, ask for clarification - and keep asking until you are sure you fully understand. “Bill, I’m not sure I understand how….relates to…can you help me out?” What you don’t understand, you can’t recall. Additionally, if you don’t understand what is being said, your mind is more likely to wander and your listening effectiveness diminishes.
• Offer an intelligent comment. To keep your active attention on what is being said, get involved. If the situation permits, offer your own perspective on the what is being said. Ask a question or relate a relevant story that reinforces what the person is saying, or perhaps, represents a different point of view.

Prospects and customers have two frequent complaints about salespeople. The first, they talk too much. The second, they don’t listen very well. Many salespeople agree they need to be better listeners. Some, in fact, are learning to become active listeners. Becoming an active listener, however, doesn’t ensure that you will improve the results of your selling efforts. The information you are now actively gathering must be sufficient and appropriate for you to qualify or disqualify your prospect and, if necessary, put together the correct presentation.

In order to hear the right information, you must stop prematurely giving out information and instead, ask questions. And, you must ask the right questions - ones that allow you to get an accurate picture of your prospect’s need, wants and situation.

You must be able to determine exactly what your prospect is trying to achieve. You must also determine why they are trying to achieve it. Specifically, why? What has kept them from that achievement so far? What potential roadblocks lie ahead? What are the benefits of succeeding in their goal? What are the consequences of failing? How would success or failure affect them?

Asking questions to uncover this information accomplishes two things. It allows you to better assess the situation and determine if there is a real opportunity for you. Additionally, and perhaps more importantly, it gives the prospect an opportunity to crystallize and clarify his or her thinking.

Prospects often think they have a clear picture of a solution until they are asked to pick the problem apart and examine it in greater depth. Your questions must facilitate that process.

You must keep “picking away” at the problem with your questions until the real source of the problem is revealed. Questions and responses such as: “Why is that?” “How so?” “And….?” “Like…?” “What else?” and “Another view might be…?” should be part of your questioning arsenal. Remember, your objective is to keep the prospect talking. If they are talking, you won’t be.

Using the newspaper story approach - who, what, where, why, when and how - to pick apart the problem may be helpful:

• Who is experiencing the problem? Who else? Who is affected by it?
• What specifically is the problem? What are the underlying causes? What did you do? What else do you want to add? What happens if you don’t solve the problem?
• Where in the selling process does the problem occur? Where in the organization?
• Why specifically does the problem exist?
• When did the problem first become evident? When did you first decide to do something about it?
• How will you deal with the problem now? How long before you give up?

A well-known speaker started off his seminar by holding up a twenty-dollar bill. In a room of, two hundred, he asked, “who would like this twenty dollar bill”?

Hands started going up. He said, “I am going to give this twenty dollar bill to one of you but first, let me do this”. He proceeded to crumple the bill up. He then asked, “who still wants it”? Still the hands were up in the air.

Well, he replied, “what if I do this”? And he dropped it on the ground and started to grind it into the floor with his shoe. He then picked it up, crumpled and dirty. Now “who still wants it”? Still the hands went up.

“My friends, we have all learned a very valuable lesson. No matter what I did to the money, you still wanted it because it did not decrease in value. It is still worth twenty dollars”.

“Many times in our lives, we are dropped, crumpled, and ground into the dirt by the decisions we make and the circumstances that come our way. We feel as though we are worthless. But no matter what has happened or what will happen, you will never lose your value: dirty or clean, crumpled or finely creased, you are still priceless to those who love you. The worth of our lives comes not in what we do or what we have or who we know but by WHO WE ARE.”.

You are special – Don’t EVER forget it. And remember to count your blessings not your problems.